Let Me Tell You About My Mom...
Good morning from Toronto.
The last night I dressed well was my Bar Mitzvah, 1978. My mom took our parties seriously.
I had forgotten this picture existed, but I am in Toronto visiting my mom hanging out with my sisters yesterday late afternoon and my niece Bailee (she’s headed to veterinary school) was rummaging through old pictures and shared this one above with me.
I shared it on Twitter with the caption, ‘First Time I Crushed It’ which got some funny comments including:
I won’t argue! The resemblance is staggering.
Anyways, other than the awesome suit (yes Rob, Beaties 1978 fall highly flammable wool collection) cut perfectly, and the dream hair, I had this vivid memory of taking my speech incredibly seriously.
I was always a bit of a class clown, but my Bar Mitzvah was going to be my ‘breakout’ moment. An easy crowd. They were captive, they knew me, knew the people I would crack wise about and I was going to be prepared (there was no ChatGPT kids…it was all me).
The key joke would center on my mom which I think all the good YouTubers at the time recommended (no Rachel and Max - we had no YouTube in the olden days).
The joke went something like this …
‘I want to thank my amazing Mom who organized this Bar Mitzvah (every kid has to say that). She is so organized. Every Friday, she wakes me up early, toasts my Eggo waffles, makes my bologne sandwich, sends me off to school, heads off to the hairdresser, gets her nails done, picks me up at school, takes me to my hockey practice and still finds time to come home and burn a chicken!’
The joke killed. A few aunts fainted, a couple of girls threw underwear at me and my uncles patted me on the back and called me a star.
The joke was also on me as it led me to a few years of open mic nights at Yuk Yuk’s and all the humiliation a 16 year old - who thinks a good Bar Mitzvah joke is the beginning of a long comedy career - deserves.
Love you mom.