The Gap Year

Before I get into today’s post… today is my 24th wedding anniversary with Ellen. Ellen is a rockstar and legend. The first question people that know me (or think they know me from this blog or Twitter) ask Ellen when they finally meet her is…. ‘Why’?

She used to try and answer it now she just says I don’t know and laughs along!

Happy anniversary Ellen. I love you.

Onward…

It has been a great few days watching my son Max.

Max was scheduled to go off to University of Arizona last fall after graduating high school. Ellen and I pulled the plug on this late last spring (with Max’s consent). We had agreed on some minimum grades for senior year and Max missed.

Long story short Ellen did a pile of work and we sent Max off on ‘Outward Bound’ first (in the lakes outside Minnesota). I am sure Max was extremely stressed, but so were Ellen and I. No contact of any kind for a month. He made it through and learned a lot.

Ellen also found a ‘gap year’ school in Maine called Bridgeton Academy for Max to work on study skills and just slow down and catch up. It was not going to be easy for Max. Max and I visited the school last spring and he agreed to make it work. No girls, strict rules and a long winter.

Max made the best of it and we are thrilled. He helped start a golf team there and next year four kids will be on the team (the golf season in Maine is three days).

He reapplied to University of Arizona and was accepted again. He used a University of Arizona freshman Facebook Group and made friends with a young man (Ben) in Portland, Maine who was also going to attend U of A. Ben and his best friend in Portland, Maine will be going off to School and Max has some great friends to start school with along with FIVE Phoenix cousins and his sister Rachel who will be a junior.

I like seeing Max smile. I always thought Max had so much to smile about, but I am not Max. All parents want to see their kids smile. He was not smiling a lot in high school. This ‘gap year’ has helped Max catch up. He is confident. I have no idea what ‘happy’ really means but I am thrilled to see Max smiling.

Over spring break Max was home visiting and Fred Wilson invited us to play golf up in Los Angeles. The night before we had dinner with Fred and Lindsay Campbell (who had not seen Max in 10 years). During dinner Fred asked Max about school and his year and I had NO idea what he would say. Max just leaned in and said he muffed his senior year and that he was happy Ellen and I intervened and pushed the gap year. He took ownership.

Back in the hotel room that night I said to Max ‘Even if you were lying, that was the right thing to say to Fred and Lindsay. The mature thing.’ I told him I was so proud of him at that moment!

Max said ‘ No, I was not lying and I am grateful.’

I told Ellen the story the next morning and said Max was ready for the world.

I went to pick him up this weekend in Bridgeton, Maine. Here he is after picking up a second diploma:

Here he is with his new pals last night:

Thank goodness we slowed down the college run. If you think your child needs a gap year…go with your instincts.

I am happy to talk with other parents who might be considering a gap year for their kids and so is Max.

Go Max go.